Kupulumuka Kusakhulupirika: Chitsogozo kwa Amene Aperekedwa

Ngati mukuwerenga zimenezi, n’kutheka kuti inuyo kapena munthu wina amene mumamudziwa wakumana ndi zowawa za kusakhulupirika. Ngakhale ndi njira yovuta kuyenda, ndizotheka kupulumuka kusakhulupirika komanso kumanganso moyo wanu wamphamvu kuposa kale.

Bukuli likupatsani malangizo atsatanetsatane amomwe mungathanirane ndi vuto lomwe mwangoyambana nalo, komanso momwe mungayambirenso kukonza moyo wanu. Muphunzira za zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za PTSD kuchokera ku kusakhulupirika (post-traumatic stress disorder) zomwe zingachitike pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika, komanso malangizo owongolera. Mupezanso momwe mungasankhire ngati banja lanu lingapulumuke kapena ayi, ndipo ngati ndi choncho, ndi njira ziti zomwe muyenera kuchita kuti muyambe.

Kodi Kusakhulupirika N'kutani?

Tisanadumphire mufunso loti “Kodi banja lingapulumuke chinyengo,” tiyeni tifotokoze kaye kuti kusakhulupirika ndi chiyani. Kusakhulupirika m’banja kungatanthauzidwe m’njira zingapo, koma nthaŵi zambiri, zimachitika pamene m’modzi wa m’banja lodzipereka wachita zinthu zosagwirizana ndi panganolo kuti ayambe kugonana ndi munthu wina.

Izi zingadziwonetsere m'njira zingapo. Chitsanzo chodziwika bwino ndi chakuti ngati wina ali pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina, koma zingaphatikizepo zinthu monga kuonera zolaula, kutumizirana mameseji ndi munthu wina yemwe si wa chibwenzi kapenanso kukhala ndi chibwenzi ndi munthu wina (monga bwenzi lapamtima kapena wogwira naye ntchito. ) zomwe zimadutsa malire kukhala chinthu chachikondi kapena chogonana.

Ndikofunika kuzindikira kuti kusakhulupirika sikumakhudza kukhudzana ndi munthu wina. M'malo mwake, kaŵirikaŵiri ukhoza kukhala wamaganizo kotheratu m'chilengedwe.

Mwachitsanzo, tinene kuti mwakhala m’banja zaka 10 ndipo muli ndi ana aang’ono aŵiri pamodzi. Mumaona kuti ndinu mwamuna wokhulupirika ndipo simunapatuke pa malumbiro anu a ukwati.

Koma tsiku lina, mudzapeza kuti mkazi wanu wakhala akuchita chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wina. Wakhala akulemberana naye mameseji maola onse usana ndi usiku, kumuuza mmene amamkondera ndi mmene sangayembekezere kukhala naye.

Izi mwachiwonekere ndi zopeza zowononga kwa inu. Dziko lanu lonse latembenuzidwa, ndipo mwasiyidwa mukumva kuperekedwa, kupwetekedwa mtima, ndi kukwiya.

Mutha kudabwa kuti banja lingapulumuke kusakhulupirika. Yankho n’lakuti inde n’zotheka. Koma pafunika khama lalikulu kwa inu ndi mkazi wanu kuti muthe kupirira nthawi yovutayi.

M’zigawo zotsatirazi, tikupatsani malangizo oti mupirire chibwenzi chanu.

6 Njira Zothandizira Mwamuna Kapena Mkazi Wachinyengo

Kulankhulana Momasuka

Pankhani ya "mmene mungagonjetsere kusakhulupirika," sitepe yoyamba nthawi zonse idzakhala kulankhulana. Muyenera kukambirana zimene zinachitika, mmene mukumvera, ndi zimene nonse mukufuna kuchita kuti mukonze zinthu. Uku kungakhale kukambirana kovuta, koma ndikofunika.

Funani Thandizo la Katswiri

“Mwamuna wanga anabera, ndipo sindingathe kupirira” ndiko kaŵirikaŵiri kachitidwe ka chisembwere. Ngati zikukuvutani kupirira, m'pofunika kupeza thandizo la akatswiri. Wothandizira angapereke chithandizo chopanda tsankho ndi chitsogozo pamene mukulimbana ndi nthawi yovutayi m'banja lanu. Kuwonjezera pamenepo, angakuthandizeni kudziwa chimene chinayambitsa chibwenzicho.

Pezani Nthawi Yokhala Nokha

Chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri kuchita mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akachita chinyengo ndi kukhala nokha. Iyi ndi nthawi yovuta komanso yovuta, choncho m'pofunika kuika maganizo anu pa kudzisamalira. Onetsetsani kuti mukudya bwino, kugona mokwanira komanso kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, komanso kukhala ndi nthawi yocheza ndi anzanu komanso achibale anu. Kuonjezerapo, ganizirani kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kapena ntchito yatsopano kuti muchepetse maganizo anu.

Gwirani ntchito pa Rebuilding Trust

Pamene mantha oyambirira a kusakhulupirika atha, muyenera kuyamba kuyesetsa kulimbitsanso chikhulupiriro m’banja lanu. Izi zidzafuna nthawi, kuleza mtima, ndi khama kuchokera kwa inu ndi mnzanu wa muukwati. Ngati alapa moona mtima pa zimene anachita, adzakhala okonzeka kuchitapo kanthu kuti mubwezeretsenso kuwakhulupirira. Muyenera kukhala oona mtima wina ndi mzake za momwe mukumvera komanso zosowa zanu komanso kukhala oleza mtima pamene nonse mukuyenda nthawi yovutayi. Mwinanso mungadabwe, “Kodi zibwenzi zimabwereranso” – yankho limakhala nthawi zina, koma sizingatheke. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu abweranso, zidzatengera ntchito yaikulu pa mbali zonse ziwiri kuti muyambitsenso kukhulupirirana ndi kupanga ubwenzi wolimba kuposa kale. Zikafika pazigawo zakuchira kuchokera ku kusakhulupirika, palibe nthawi, choncho tengani zinthu pa liwiro lanu.

Funsani Mafunso Onse

"Mmene mungathetsere kusakhulupirika" kapena "Mmene mungathetsere chinyengo ndikukhala limodzi" ndi mafunso ovuta opanda mayankho ophweka. Mudzakhala ndi mafunso ambiri okhudza zomwe zinachitika, chifukwa chake zidachitika, ndi zomwe zikubwera. Kuti muthane ndi chibwenzi, muyenera kupeza mayankho a mafunso awa. Izi zidzafuna kulankhulana moona mtima komanso momasuka ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Ayenera kukhala okonzeka kuyankha mafunso anu aliwonse, ngakhale atakhala ovuta bwanji. Ngati sakufuna kuchita zimenezi, ndi chizindikiro chakuti sakumva chisoni ndi zimene anachita.

Khazikitsani Malamulo Ena Otsatira

Muyenera kukhazikitsa malamulo oyambira kuti muthe kuchoka pa chibwenzi. Malamulo ofunikirawa amasiyana malinga ndi momwe zinthu zilili pa inuyo, koma akuyenera kuphatikiza zinthu monga kusakumana ndi munthu wina yemwe akuchita nawo chibwenzi, kuwonekera poyera ndi kuwona mtima, komanso kuyang'anana pafupipafupi. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sakufuna kuvomereza mfundo zimenezi, ndi chizindikiro chakuti sali okonzeka kuyambanso kukhulupirirana.

6 Njira Zothandizira Okwatirana Osakhulupirika

Zindikirani Zomwe Munachita

Chinthu choyamba kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wosakhulupirika ndicho kuvomereza zimene anachita. Izi zikutanthauza kuvomereza kuti anali ndi chibwenzi ndi kutenga udindo pazochita zawo. Popanda kuvomereza uku, sikudzakhala kotheka kupita patsogolo. Ngati ndi chibwenzi pamene onse akwatirana, mwamuna ndi mkazi ayenera kukhala pansi ndi kukambirana zomwe zinachitika.

Khalani Omasuka ndi Oona Mtima

Muyenera kukhala omasuka ndi oona mtima kwa mnzanuyo pa chilichonse chokhudzana ndi chibwenzicho. Izi zikuphatikizapo kukhala woona mtima pa zimene zinachitika, mmene mukumvera, ndi chifukwa chake munachitira zimenezo. M’pofunikanso kunena zoona pa zimene mukuyembekezera m’tsogolo.

Sonyezani Chisoni

Sonyezani chisoni chenicheni pa zimene munachita. Zimenezi zikutanthauza zambiri osati kungonena kuti, “Pepani.” Muyenera kuwonetsa kuti mukumvetsetsa kuchuluka kwa zowawa zomwe mwayambitsa komanso kuti mukumvera chisoni chifukwa cha zochita zanu.

Tengani Udindo

Tengani udindo wanu pankhaniyi. Izi zikuphatikizapo kuvomereza kuti munalakwitsa komanso kuvomereza zotsatira za zochita zanu. Ndikofunikiranso kukhala ndi udindo pakuchira kwanu.

Khazikani mtima pansi

Kuchira pambuyo pa chibwenzi kumatenga nthawi. M’pofunika kudekha ndi kumvetsetsa kuti zitenga nthawi kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akukhululukireni. Pakalipano, yang'anani pa kukonzanso kukhulupirirana ndi kulankhulana mu ubale wanu.

Pemphani Thandizo

Ngati mukuvutika kulimbana ndi zotsatirapo za chibwenzi, ganizirani kupeza thandizo la akatswiri. Wothandizira angapereke chithandizo cha momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi kapena momwe mungathetsere kusakhulupirika ndi chitsogozo pamene mukulimbana ndi zovuta zokonzanso ubale wanu.

Kutsiliza

Kusakhulupirika ndi chimodzi mwa mavuto ovuta kwambiri omwe ubale ungakumane nawo. Koma m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, kuleza mtima, ndi khama, n’zotheka kugonjetsa ululuwo ndi kumanganso unansi wolimba, wabwino. Ngati mukulimbana ndi chibwenzi, kumbukirani kuti simuli nokha, ndipo chithandizo chilipo.